BUSY

Busy … things have been busy … in fact, things are busy … so very, very busy! I feel as if this is a common response that I’ve been both giving and receiving of late. For a while, I was looking to the shifting of schedules, the ushering in of Fall, as the excuse. But I’m beginning to think that perhaps it was just that – simply an excuse. At least for me, it seems to have become a convenient excuse to offset the unfortunate reality of acknowledging the fact that I, single handedly, have been making myself so very, very busy.

It’s interesting being in business for one’s self. It’s truly a beautiful reality which affords me so many freedoms. And, in living this reality, there is no one but myself to blame if/as life takes on the degree of chaos which I’ve recently been experiencing.

The fortunate news, because misery loves company, is that many of my peers are similarly in business for themselves and seem to be similarly reporting that things have been so very, very busy for them as well. So much so that it seems impossible to even catch a phone call with a few of my dearest friends. In fact, the games of phone tag which I’ve been enduring have reached a level of all-time extreme sport intensity.

This now somewhat chronic state of busy – at least for me – seems to have been building, and building, and building. Yet, as if it happened in the blink of an eye, over the past 24 hours it seems to have come to a culmination. I found myself in my bed this AM reflecting upon how this was the first day in quite a few in which I wasn’t committed to springing up and out prior to the rising of the sun. It was then that I realized … WOAH! I need an intervention! I need to slooooow down. I need to take a look at what the hell I’ve been doing that’s been keeping me so very, very busy!!!

And so I did. I rescheduled my day altogether. I began to watch myself as all that I simply must accomplish came rushing into my awareness. Almost instantaneously, I was reminded of an email trail which has been unfolding between the folks of the co-op where I work. In one of my last emails, in an up on my soap box manner, I suggested how when life feels overwhelming I find it very helpful to pose the question what’s important to myself. And to revisit, to reassess, and to reconsider this question regularly!

Once I’d mustered up the energy to pry myself from my bed, I immediately began starting to do a number of things. My apartment began to take on the look of a scene in which you’d have thought a tornado passed through. I suspect that you may know this feeling. In staying true to my commitment to slooooow down, I began to watch this experience and to consider the whirlwind which was unfolding.

Were the things that I was doing actually important? What’s most important? What will prove to be optimally serving of this time I’d created for myself … right here … right now?

As the hours of sunlight of the day begin to draw to an end, having never left my apartment, I feel overcome with a wonderful sense of productivity, grounding, and clarity. It’s almost as if I’ve hit the re-set button on my person. Having embraced this time to re-assess my priorities, I realize that I may have been staying so busy, perhaps subconsciously, in an effort to shy away from some of the truly important stuff. That real deal stuff that tugs at our heart, and weighs on our soul. I’ve found that staying busy can be a really nice way to escape from reality. For a while, this may be serving, until it’s not anymore. I know this feeling. I’ve been here before, and I would be foolish to think that I won’t be here again at some point.

Yet, in having watched my thoughts closely throughout this entire day, I believe it safe to say that my busy has been a mix of things. Some of these things have proven to be actually important, while others have proven to be things which have been either sound distractions OR things which can be placed on my list to accomplish in the days ahead, as I recommit to embark upon each moment of each day mindfully. To seal the deal, I am off to enjoy a walk at dusk in an effort to fully re-set by exposing myself to the healing energy of nature.

I challenge you to take a look at your busy. Perhaps, you may be lucky enough to intervene on it before your body physically stops you in your tracks due to exhaustion. Either way, notice what comes up for you when you do. Perhaps you too may consider embracing a reality in which you honor that which is truly most important rather than choosing to stay on the, often times self-induced, “hamster wheel” which so many of us know to be our reality.

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