I am not proud to admit that I proclaimed this! It was during a conversation which I was having with a friend (shout out to Andrew – knew I’d write this blog in the moment we were having this conversation; I’m so sorry, my friend) whom I see only a few times a year. Immediately as the words exited my mouth, I cringed. Actually, as they were coming out, I was wishing I could retract this statement. There is such judgement in it! Judgement, and space for introspection.
As I reflected upon how I could have responded in such a cold manner to a friend who was confiding in me, I was – not surprisingly – reminded of a concept which I recall Mariah discussing. The joys of learning and re-learning the very same thing. Again, and again! “Until it finally sinks in,” she would say! Mariah would chuckle as she spoke of this. I can just see her now. Nodding, as she’d say, “But of course you are still working on that.” Or, “Well, I guess there’s still more to learn on this one … Huh?!”
The take home message – be patient! Patient with yourself, and your journey. Ideally, free of self-criticism and/or judgement. Clearly, I can stand to improve upon the degree to which I am embodying this concept. I know that when I place a judgement on another’s experience(s), often times it is because it is “hitting home” with something for me, personally.
And so, I learn. Again, and again. The same concepts. Until, they really sink in. Until, the learning is complete.
Last week, there was learning for me around self-care. A topic which I am excellent at teaching, yet not always so great at personally embracing with compassion. Perhaps, this is why it is something which I’ve blogged about in the past. I suppose, I am working through that … still!
You – my readers, and students – truly SEE me. I thank each one of you who reached out to me throughout my being unwell. Your understanding, your kindness and generosity, and above all else, your reminders to “be gentle with myself” have provided me with an excellent learning opportunity.
Whenever it is that I find myself feeling unbalanced, it is reason for pause. I notice what it will take for me to re-calibrate. Personally, I turn to practices rooted in Ayurveda – the sister science to yoga. Ayurveda aims to keep a body in a state of ease, such that we will not be faced with dis-ease. This is not a concept which is widely supported by our society, or Western medicine. And, it is one which works for me.
First and foremost, I consider what I am putting in my body. I am reminded that carbohydrates, dairy, sugar, caffeine, and alcohol – you know, all the things that I tend to crave – ought to go by the wayside when facing sickness. I also consider energy expenditure. As a chronic over-scheduler, I’ve been taking a closer look at the conditions under which I am placing my body. Prioritizing my yoga practice has become integral. Lastly, rest, rest, and then more rest, consistently provides the foundational factor in the equation of returning to said state of ease.
As I resurface slowly, I’ve recommitted to less doing and more being. A concept which I am often reminded to re-visit. To learn again. And again. In a sort crazy way, as if for the first time. Each time the learning feels rich, renewing, and truly, life giving! And so it goes – that I am working through (how to balance work/play AND doing/being) … STILL!